Affect Of Parenting On Self Esteem Of Kids

The basic meaning of self-esteem is how we value ourselves. It refers to a person’s overall sense of their value or worth. What is parenting? Parenting means the raising of children. Parents do their best to raise their children by teaching them moral values. Every parent wants to give their children the best teaching.

Parenting style

This can be said as the behavior of the parents towards their children. Parenting styles include different dimensions like- disciplinary strategy, nurturing, communication styles, and expectations of maturity and control.

Affect of Parenting Styles on Self Esteem

Parents’ teachings and their behavior towards their children, build or break the self-esteem of their children. Children learn through their parents. Interaction between the parents and their children builds their self-esteem.

“Children are like the wet soil; whatever shape you give them, they will take that shape.

Likewise, parents can shape the future of their children by giving them the appropriate teachings. It is not always necessary to be strict with your children. Your behavior towards your children should be right considering their age as well the situation. Children look up to their parents while growing.

Parents should be good role models to their children.

There are four different types of parenting styles which are as follows-

1. Authoritarian parenting

In this style, the parents are very strict towards their children. They establish some rules and regulations which have to be followed by their children. The parents following this type of parenting style have high expectations from their children but give almost zero decision-making power to their children.

These parents expect their children not to make any mistakes, and even they do not want their children to raise any questions.


The impact of authoritarian parenting style generally leads to children becoming obedient, but the children are not happy. It is the worst parenting style for increasing self-esteem.

Parents have the goal of keeping their child safe, and they believe that they are doing the best thing for their kid, but their parenting style is so strict that unwillingly they are destroying their children’s self-esteem.

Unwillingness for the side of parents would destroy their child’s ability to cope up with the world, the ability to rationalize and handle the situations. It also makes them feel inferior and insecure.

2. Authoritative parenting

This style can be characterized by high responsiveness and high demands. Parents have expectations from their children and the response to the actions of their children. They set limits for their children and are very consistent in enforcing boundaries.

Parents give some liberty to their children, but they set limits that have to be considered by their children. Parents have rules, and they use consequences, but they also take their children’s opinions.


This is considered to be the best parenting style among all the parenting styles. The children of authoritative parents were more accomplished in academic, social, and emotional capabilities.

This parenting style generally produces the best outcomes in children. It helps the children get responses from their parents regarding different things and their parents consider their opinions on different issues. Authoritative parents invest their time and energy to solve and prevent their children from different behavioral problems.

Parents also use different positive disciplinary strategies to reinforce good behavior. Most importantly, children under this parenting style tend to be happy and successful as they have some liberty to make their own decisions.

3. Permissive parenting

In this parenting style, parents give all the liberty to their children. The children have the decision-making power. It is parenting where a child makes all their own decisions. Permissive parents generally play a social role with their children.

They encourage their children to have a conversation with them about their problems. They do not even establish rules and regulations for their children.



Permissive parents do not reinforce disciplinary strategies for their children. As they provide liberty to their children, sometimes children misuse the power of liberty their parents have provided them.

Parents should give some liberty to their children but to some extent and at the right time where it is needed. Giving privileges to children may lead them to make mistakes as the children under this parenting style become so casual that they do not feel any responsibility to convey their problems to their parents.

They make their own decisions as they have all the decision-making power.

It leads to lower self-esteem of the children.

4. Uninvolved parenting

As the name suggests, the parents under this style are not involved in their children’s doings. The parents are not concerned about the activities in which their children are involved.

Children do not receive appropriate guidance as their parents are not involved in their activities.

An uninvolved parent expects their children to raise by themselves. They do not impose any rules and regulations for their children. They have little knowledge about what their children are doing.


The children under this parenting style exhibit frequent behavior problems and rank very low in happiness. The parents are not involved in interacting with their children, resulting in the children not feeling any responsibility towards their parents and their families.

As the children do not receive any instructions from their parents, they feel free to make decisions regarding their life, whether that decision is for their betterment or whether the decision tends to put them in a worse situation.


  • Children’s self-esteem needs to be boosted according to the changing situation. Children always see themselves through their parent’s eyes. So the parents should present themselves keeping in mind that their children will observe their body language, voice, expression, and behave accordingly.
  • Provide appropriate guidance according to the children’s age. It means that if there is a kid, then parents should guide with love and care. If there is an adolescent, then parents should be a bit strict, but to some extent.
  • Some rules and regulations should be made for their children but keeping in mind that those rules and regulations lead the children towards making disciplined. Parents should opt for positive disciplinary strategies, and it the responsibility of parents to make their children disciplined.
  • Spend time with your children. If kids do not get attention from their parents often act out, or misbehave with their parents. Even if the parent is a working parent, they should devote some time for their kids as their children expect their parents to come and talk to them about different things.
  • Be a role model as the children learn how to act by watching and observing their parents. Parents should possess the traits they desire to see in their kids, like- respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, patience, tolerance. Parents should exhibit unselfish behavior towards others so that their children learn the same thing.
  • Make communications a priority. Children expect explanations from their parents. If parents do not take time to explain, children will begin to wonder about the values and motives, and they will think whether the values have any basis or not.
  • Parents should listen to their children in every respect. When a problem arises then it needs to be discussed with your children. Invite them to work on the solution. And parents should be open to their child’s suggestions as it motivates them to participate in decisions.
  • Parents should not be flexible, which means that they should be willing to adjust their parenting styles. Environments affect the behavior of children. So parents should change their parenting style according to the changes taking place in their child.
  • In whatever situation the children are in, parents should love their children unconditionally. When parents have to confront their children, they should avoid blaming, criticizing, or fault-finding as it decreases their children’s self-esteem.
  • Parents should give liberty and privileges to their children but to some extent so that the children should not misuse the liberty.
  • Children should feel that their parents are always with them even if the situation is worst.

Parents give shape to the life of their children. Children will learn whatever their parents teach them. So a parent needs to teach their children all positive attributes and parents should behave properly as the kids learn everything watching them.

Antara Chowdhary

Antara Chowdhury is a Content Marketer and Strategist with 6 years of experience. She is Master degree holder in Journalism and wants to explore everything she can write on.

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